It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
(Culled from William Henley’s Invictus)
***
The hands of time often wriggle
free of our pitiable ‘had I known’ to heed fate’s audible
callings. Perhaps, the past cannot be rewound for correction to have its way; only the
present can be molded as clay. As humans, we are victims of regrets invented by
past actions and inaction – I am not excluded from this lot. Read my story
first before conceiving any fallible assumption in your inquisitive mind.
***
Having completed my Junior
Secondary School in a private institution as a high-flyer, I proceeded to
Federal Government College, Ikirun to further my education. For me, it was a
crossroads where I ought to decide my fate by choosing a department among
Science, Commercial and Arts since it wasn’t possible to combine the trio. Being
quite brilliant, Science was the undisputable option. Moreover, my four elder
siblings had set the trend of studying in the field of Science. I was, therefore,
eager to maintain the status quo, and not be an unworthy exception.
During the course of study, I
realized Science was a colourful mistake; an error facilitated by fascination.
I had no liking for mathematical calculations. Similarly, Physics and Chemistry
were my nightmares. For three good years, I was condemned to study these
subjects that continually sapped my happiness of strength. While my grades were
satisfactory, and I experienced little or no challenges getting promoted to the
next class due to my ‘retentive and recalling’ ability, my brain shrank in
wits, and my esteem was badly wounded. I was no longer a high-flyer, just a
regular student.
Resolute, I made up my mind to
follow my passion, that is, arts. But first, I must have that despicable
‘B.Sc.’, I concluded. I wrote my final exams with fear trailing my dreams. I
applied to study Applied Geology at Federal University of Technology, Akure in
my Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination (UTME) registration form. When
the result was eventually released, success clung to me. Contrarily, my Senior
Secondary Certificate Examination (SSCE) result tarnished my hopes. I had
credits and distinctions in subjects including my nightmares, but Mathematics
was an outcast. A pass was the best I could get from its worst.
Nevertheless, I remained
undaunted. I was willing to give my all to acquire higher education. I went
back to the drawing board; Arts had to be then not later. I started making
preparations to take Arts O’ levels without any intention of enrolling in any
school or tutorial. I doubled as a teacher and student – a reflection of
Abraham Lincoln’s self-education.
Few months later, my resilience and
diligence were rewarded – I had passed arts o’ levels and life’s tests on
self-discovery.
***
With the knob of time turned
clockwise, the present captures me seated in my room, in the University of
Ibadan, writing this story as an assignment assigned to a creative writing class
by my amiable lecturer, Dr. Yinka Egbokhare.
If I could turn back the hands of
time, I would have initially followed my heart and not be a wanderer in the
wilderness like the Israelites discussed in Exodus. If I could turn back the
hands of time, I would have discovered myself early enough to make up for the
eternally lost years. If I could turn back the hands of time, this story would
be breathless.
Kolade Olanrewaju Freedom was born in the early ’90s in Osogbo, the capital of Osun State, Nigeria. As a child, Kolade fell in love with African literature which inspired his passion for creative writing.His literary works have appeared in such diverse publications as global charity anthologies, magazines, websites and blogs.
In 2013 Freedom was selected as a Pentasi B. World Featured Inspirational Poet, an international honor based in the Philippines. He is also the winner of the first edition of UK’s Write, Share, Be Read Poetry Competition-Category A as well as an awardee of the Janet P. Caldwell’s Essay Contest, underwritten by Inner Child Press (USA).
Kolade has authored two poetry collections, The Light Bearer and Punctured Silence. He currently studies Communication and Language Arts at the University of Ibadan.
